MY MISSION WAS SIMPLE. Find the best hamburger Aberdeen has to offer. What seemed like an easy task quickly proved daunting in the scope of the many places willing to fry up, grill out, or nuke the hell out of cow matter and serve it on a bun. After more than a month’s research, I found myself pulling up a chair at yet another place that serves hamburgers.

    Be warned before you read this list of local champions, I did not approach this with strict scientific fairness and neutrality. Opinion reigns supreme. I also had certain expectations of which places would have good burgers and which places would not; some of those expectations were met, others were overturned completely. I evened things out a little by only trying burgers with ketchup and mustard. This allowed the flavor of the beef and bun to come through better than it would had I added the more potent aroma of onions, the sharp tang of dill pickles or the yummy zest of McDonald’s well guarded secret-sauce. I also ate at the establishment. Engaging in take-out would have allowed the heat of freshly cooked beef to dissipate.

    To keep score, I approached each burger on an individual basis, trying to grade them on the merits of that burger alone. There was no direct side-by-side comparison. I considered factors such as taste, beef grain (do burger particles get stuck in my teeth?), as well as how good it looked and smelled. To a minor degree, factors such as good service, good side dishes, and the atmosphere of the locale played into the final tally. I employed a simple one to five point scale: Five for a burger that exceeds all other burgers. Four for a good burger. Three for an average Joe burger; not good, but not really all that bad. Two for a substandard burger that isn’t good, but isn’t the worst I’ve had. A score of one I gave to those burgers that were either so bad I couldn’t finish them, or they came to my table smelling like stinky feet. I actually ate one of those horrible burgers: luckily, I’m still alive to tell that particular tale.

    To my delight, five locations ultimately made burgers that scored a total of five points: Maverick’s, VFW, Village Bowl, The Flame and Big Fella’s.

THE TOP 5
5. Maverick's
Maverick’s Steaks and Cocktails serves a one-pound hamburger that is guaranteed to make a dent in your lunch appetite. It is big and juicy with a slight crispness around the edges. I paid $7.95 and got a side of great-tasting french fries. This is technically a cheeseburger, and there was some confusion with the kitchen when I requested it be served with only ketchup and mustard, but it still arrived hot and relatively promptly.

4. Legion/VFW
The Legion and VFW have long had Monster Burger Night where they serve up one-pound hamburgers for a mere $5 including fries. They serve some mean beef but have a secret weapon at their disposal for making it taste good: they take their sweet time cooking it. Waits for orders are upwards of 20 minutes to an hour. During that wait you gaze longingly at your neighbors chowing down and realize that you want...no, you need your own burger. By the time your order arrives your hunger is built up so much that even if this Monster didn’t taste good you would attack it as though you’ve been abandoned at sea for three weeks with no food or water.
    Luckily, the wait was worth it. The “Monster” has a rich flavor and aroma. Plus, it comes on a toasted bun that carries a decently singed crunch to it.

3. Village Bowl
I’ve heard of dinner and a movie, but bowling and a burger? The Village Bowl certainly bowled me over with a two-third pound double-patty wonder of a burger served with a plastic knife anchoring it to the paper tray it was served on. I paid $4.40 and sprung for the fries at $2. You can’t get food here until the café opens around 6:30 p.m. When you do, you will wonder how you’ve survived all these years without tasting this wonderful cow concoction. I later surmised that the knife was in place to hold the burger down lest it ascend directly into burger heaven before I could consume it.

2. The Flame
The first Five-point burger I encountered was in the low lit fancy-pants restaurant of Aberdeen’s Historic Downtown, The Flame. The Flame Burger, as they call it, was a $4.95 half-pound, exciting burger to eat. This delight was quite possibly the best-tasting burger I have ever had, leading me to conclude that the cows utilized in the making of Flame Burgers were very happy cows indeed.

1. Big Fella’s
There was really one place through size, taste, texture, atmosphere, service, and did I mention size, that really proved to be the best of the best. Big Fella’s serves up what could be construed as a local legend, though some people I know have been turned off by their risqué advertising; but their food truly does speak for itself. Big Fella’s offers the biggest, baddest, beefiest burger in town. Whether you order the single burger or the establishment’s namesake triple cheeseburger, the Big Fella, 10 oz patties will ensure that your stomach gets its fill, and possibly much more. At $9.50 the Big Fella comes with french fries and typically the joke, “Ready for another one?” once you finish.  If you finish. Give it a try.

RESPONSE
Did your favorite make it to the top? Did I somehow miss one? View the list of rankings for all places I visited here.

    All in all my burger quest was quite satisfying, I came out of it with my goal met and my hunger satiated. Would I do it again? Pass the Ketchup.